God's GLory To Be Revealed

2012-02-10T13:57:00.000-05:00

We know that a lot of people have been wanting to help us out in some way or another. The following people have graciously offered to coordinate any events that you may wish to get started. Please call one of them to discuss further details.

Jackie Fermoyle, Bullock Creek Middle School Counselor 631-2418 Ext. 1407

Jenny Keister, Bullock Creek Schools Social Worker 631-2418 Ext. 1618

Julie Rinn, Bullock Creek Middle School Teacher 631-2418 Ext. 1443

2012-02-01T18:25:00.000-05:00

Things have been busy lately. Lots going on. I have just one week of school left then I will step out of the program for the time-being. Then, we are headed on a lovely cruise for some quality family time. The kids are absolutely thrilled (and so is their mommy)!

We just wanted to say thank you for all the prayers and encouragement that you all have given us! It means the world to us. Blessings! Jos

Life Changes

2012-01-24T16:35:00.000-05:00

After hearing just one sentence, one instantly realizes what's truly important in his/her life. Time is so very precious & limited. And when times like these are upon someone, there's choices to be made. Jason and I are extremely thankful that God has given both of us such love and grace. God is the one that gives us the strength to wake each morning and find hope and peace in the new day. We are making some life changes today so that we may live each day to the fullest and make as many memories with our children, family and friends as possible. Although Jason has thoroughly enjoyed coaching the Creek baseball team, he has decided that it is time for him to step down as head coach. This is not to say that you won't see him out at the field watching or maybe even helping the team out at times.This decision allows for some much needed & desired Daddy, Taylor, and Easton time! I have also decided to step out of my nursing program at this time so that I, too, can be included in that Daddy, Taylor & Easton time! Our hope is that some fabulous memories will be made in the days and weeks to come & that our children will have them to cherish & remember for many years to come.

We do not know what the future holds, but we do know that today is a good day & so it makes for a great day to spend it with family & friends. So if you're wondering whether or not to call or visit, just remember that today is a good day & we'd love to share some laughs & make some more memories!

Please know that Jason, myself, and the kids greatly appreciate your love, support and prayers! May God bless each of you!

PET Scan results

2012-01-18T21:59:00.000-05:00

Jason and I just got back home from Duke. He had his PET scan this morning. The results were not what we were hoping for. The scan was what they call "very hot" which means that there is a lot of active cancer cells. When we asked about the size of it, Dr. V said that he estimates it to be the size of a grapefruit. Surgery & radiation are not an option. Jason's treatment now will include taking a low dose of oral chemo daily along with another drug that he will take 7 days on & then 7 days off. He will also have Avastin every three weeks. The doctors anticipate that the side effects will be minimal & may even feel like a respite from the harsh therapy that he's been on for the past year.
I have a really hard time understanding how Jason is walking, talking, teaching, etc with such a large thing in his brain--it makes no sense. Even the Doctors are surprised by his functioning level. They said that he is in the top 1% of their patients in regards to functioning level especially with the size of the tumor and the amount of swelling. So we will choose to focus on the positives of the situation rather than dwell on the negatives. I won't lie--there are a lot of thoughts running through my mind & many of them are not so great, but I also know that we have a God that wraps His loving arms around us and catches every tear. He will be our Strength!

So many months have passed

2011-12-22T09:20:00.000-05:00

Where does one begin when we've allowed so much time to pass. Anyway, I will start with Jason. Tomorrow marks Jason's 23rd of 24 treatments for his 12 month treatment plan--he is ready to be finished to say the least. January 6th will be his last treatment. January 18th, he will have a PET scan to see if there are any active cancer cells. Depending on the results of the scan, the Dr. will help us determine the next steps. Jason has been having a MRI every 8 weeks and they continue to remain stable. Our hope and prayer is that the PET scan will show no active cancer cells and that Jason will be able to start a maintenance phase of treatment consisting of just Avastin. He would not have any chemo drugs--this would be such a blessing as those are the drugs that make you feel utterly exhausted. It would be a lie if I said I wasn't worried about what the 18th of January will bring. January has not been such a great month for us the last few years--originally diagnosed on Jan. 19, 2008 and then reoccurance on Jan. 19, 2011. It's quite mind-boggling to think it's been almost 4 years now since his original diagnosis. Praise God!

As for me, I just finished up my first semester of my nursing program. I get a little break for Christmas and will start my 2nd semester on Jan. 9th. It has been very nice having some time off right now and will be difficult to get back in the groove. Time management is essential when working, going to school, taking care of the family! I believe I have mastered my time management skills :) I truly am blessed to walking the path that I am and am humbled by God's grace & peace that He so generously gives me!

Taylor is doing great in 3rd grade. She continues to be active in the arts--she's in the youth honors chorus program at the Midland Center for the Arts, ballet & tap at Gina Beebe Dance Studio, and she just finished up being in the "Gospel According to Scrooge" musical at our church, Messiah Lutheran. She loves to perform and has such an energy about her. She truly amazes me and she loves deeply. I'm so proud to be her mother!

Easton is doing fantastic in 1st grade. It is so neat to listen to him learning to read and seeing his excitement for learning in general. He is the definition of energy I think. He is constantly going. He's in his 3rd year of hockey and I have to say--he's pretty darn good. It's amazing to see him on the ice. Not only is he fast, but he is very intuitive as well. He understands the game and he anticipates his next moves. I'm so proud to be his mother as well!

Merry Christmas to you! May God give you peace this Christmas season. Take time to slow down and truly enjoy & cherish your time with family and friends! Blessings, Joslyn

2011-06-08T13:49:00.002-04:00

Jason had his Dr. appt at Duke and his MRI looks even better than last time! The treatment is kicking some major booty right now and we are loving it!

2011-05-12T07:56:00.000-04:00

This time of year always seems to fly by. Here we are in the middle of May already. We've been busy. Easton celebrated his 6th birthday at the end of April. He's getting to be such a big boy--he'll be in first grade in the fall. Taylor and Easton are both playing ball this spring. Taylor is much more excited about softball this year--she likes being on a team of all girls and having the coaches pitch rather than hitting off a tee. Easton is playing coach-pitch baseball and he's doing good. He loves to catch and works really hard behind the plate trying to stop each pitch. Even though they call it coach-pitch, the boys actually pitch most of the time--so you can imagine the balls flying all over the place:)

Jason's varsity team is in full swing as well. They are doing alright--they are a rather young team so hopefully the years to come will make for a great team. Jason's feeling pretty good right this moment but tomorrow is his 3 drug treatment day so the next few days will be "not so great" for him. I have to tell you though--he handles the treatments really well. I'm amazed by all he does even when he's loaded up with a bunch of drugs that make you feel really yucky.

So, if you'd like to see us in the next few weeks, you can find us at one of the ball fields! Have a great week.

Significant shrinkage!

2011-04-12T15:43:00.003-04:00

Just saw Jason's Dr. at Duke and he said that the tumors have significantly shrunk. The plan is to continue on with the same treatment. Praise God!

Back from Florida

2011-04-04T15:40:00.000-04:00

We spent spring break in Florida, and it was lovely (except for the couple of days full of rain)! Jason had his 4th round of treatment today. He's at baseball practice right now but I'm pretty sure he'd rather be in bed:) He seems to be handling the treatments alright just really tired. We travel to Duke for his Dr. appt on Tuesday, Apr 12. Praying the MRI shows some positive changes!

2011-03-02T14:28:00.000-05:00

I've wanted to write but haven't really known what to write--does that make sense? I have so many thoughts and feelings right now that I don't know how to put any of into words. Many of you ask, "how are you doing?" I'm doing ok. I'm aware of the different emotions that are running through me and I'm trying to manage them in a way that works for me. Sometimes it means I feel like talking, sometimes it means I don't feel like talking, sometimes it means I want to laugh and joke, and yet sometimes, it means I want to cry, and on the list goes. So don't be surprised if you witness all of this in a day, or heck, even in an hour. I believe this is normal and acceptable and it means that I'm processing--that I'm not holding it all in and that is a good thing.

One of Jason's coworkers arranged a prayer service for our family last Sunday. I'll be honest--I didn't want to go at all, but I did anyway and I was blessed. There's something about having people put their hands on you and praying over you. And, it's even more powerful when it's people you don't expect to be there--to know that there are people praying all over this world for our family whether they know us intimately or just through this blog or a friend. Very humbling. It was really good for the kids too. At first, we weren't going to have the kids in the prayer service but at the last minute we went and got them. I believe we made the right choice. They got to see and feel the prayers of several others. I was worried that the kids would realize the seriousness of daddy's illness. That's an area that I try to be very conscious of--I want to be sure that our kids know about their dad's cancer and what that all entails, but I also don't want to scare them. Many people have asked us, "how are the kids doing?" The kids are doing really well. We haven't seen any changes in them that would indicate that they are not coping well. The kids know that Dad's cancer is back, that he is taking lots of medicine to try and get rid of it, and that he is going to be tired and need to rest more. They don't like it when he sleeps during the day but I try to remind them that he needs to in order to stay healthy. Taylor asked, "is he going to be on this medicine for the rest of his life?" I told her no but that he would be on it for a year. Her response, "well at least it's not the rest of his life." A year is a really long time for a 5 and 7 year old--please pray for them to understand that Dad wants to be playing with them but sometimes he just doesn't have the energy.

I'll try to be a bit better about updating but won't make any promises:)

Round 1 done

2011-02-21T21:39:00.000-05:00

Jason had his first round of treatment on Friday. He did alright with it. Seemed to be pretty tired and his stomach bothered him more this time. Treatments will be every two weeks from here on out.

2011-02-16T10:38:00.000-05:00

Jason's first round of treatment is this Friday at 11:00. Duke and Dr. H"s office did a fantastic job of getting everything coordinated. That was a blessing because we all know how hectic trying to coordinate medical care between doctors can be:)

2011-02-14T13:46:00.000-05:00

There's not a whole lot of new information. Just waiting to get everything coordinated between Duke and our local oncologist. Hoping that Jason's first treatment will be this week. In the meantime, life is going on as usual!

Info about Dr. appt today and treatment plan

2011-02-08T18:12:00.000-05:00

Here is the info about Jason's dr. appt today.

We met with Dr. V today and discussed treatment options according to how the pathology came back from the biopsy. The cancer has reoccurred and has transformed from a grade II oligoastrocytoma to a grade III anaplastic astrocytoma. This means that the cancer has become more aggressive and grows more quickly. There was new growth in the left frontal lobe. There was also growth around the existing tumor area in the left occipital/parietal lobe extending into the left temporal lobe.

We have chosen to enter into a clinical trial that is utilizing 3 different drugs (Avastin, CPT-11, & Carboplatin) to knock out the cancer. Jason will begin treatment sometime next week. He will be receiving treatment every two weeks for a year. He has been on two of the drugs before. He will receive the Avastin and CPT-11 every two weeks and the carboplatin will be every 4 weeks. CPT-11 and Carboplatin are chemotherapy drugs. CPT-11 interferes with the growth of cancer cells. Carboplatin kills cancer cells. Avastin is an anti-angiogenesis drug – essentially it inhibits blood vessel formation which starves the tumor. Tumors need their own blood supply in order to grow.

Jason will receive his treatments in Midland. He will see his Duke Dr. every 8 weeks with a new MRI. I know some of you probably have questions so I’m going to try and answer some of them right now.

The trial is completely voluntary and Jason can get out of the trial at anytime. We felt no pressure to enter into the trial. If the cancer begins to progress while on this treatment, they will switch him to a different treatment plan. Jason will receive the treatment described above. There is no placebo in this study. It is a phase II study and the purpose is to determine the safety and activity of the 3 drugs against recurrent malignant gliomas, describe the activity of the 3 drugs as measured by response rate and progression-free survival, and determine the toxicity (side effects) of the combination therapy. There are, of course, side effects to treatment; however, we anticipate Jason to have similar responses as the last time he was getting treated. We anticipate fatigue, low blood counts, some nausea, high blood pressure, and possibly diarrhea. Hope this info answers your questions. If not, feel free to ask.

2011-02-03T17:22:00.002-05:00

We are back at the hotel. Jason is feeling good. I'm doing good. I got a whole book read today--lots of time on our hands now. No luck on tickets for the Duke basketball game on Saturday--we even asked all the doctors that we saw.

2011-02-03T10:47:00.001-05:00

Biopsy is done and it went well. Jason is back in his room right now. He feels good and is ready to get out of here. We will be leaving sometime this afternoon and heading to the hotel for some relaxation and probably some sleep. Thanks for the prayers!

Biopsy

2011-02-03T06:13:00.000-05:00

I'm sitting in the surgical waiting area. Jason is getting prepped. I will get to see him one more time before the biopsy. It is scheduled for 7:30 and shouldn't take more than an hour. He will most likely be discharged later today.It will take 3-5 business days for the final pathology to come back. Once it is back, we will meet with Dr. to discuss treatment options and finalize a plan. Hoping to be back home next Wednesday.

2011-02-02T09:02:00.000-05:00

We are getting ready to head on over to Duke for Jason's pre-op fun. We're supposed to be there at 10:00. Not sure what is all going to happen today, but do know that we will meet the surgeon. Jason will be checked into the hospital sometime today and the biopsy will be tomorrow. Finally, feel like things are starting to move! Blessings to all, Joslyn

2011-01-31T13:12:00.000-05:00

Jason's biopsy is scheduled for this Thursday. We leave tomorrow morning to fly down there. His pre-op appt is on Wednesday at 10:00.

2011-01-30T18:23:00.000-05:00

Still no news. We've been waiting all week and it's starting to get really old. Surprisingly today, I have been able to not think about it every moment of the day. I can't promise tomorrow will be the same; however, I hope that it is.

Will you join us in prayer tonight and tomorrow and ask the Lord to have the surgeon call us to schedule his biopsy? We need this!

Thanks and blessings to you all! Joslyn

2011-01-26T08:12:00.000-05:00

Nothing to report as of right now. Still waiting to hear when Jason's biopsy will be.

We do know that we'll be down at Duke for at least a week. 3 days for the biopsy and then 3-5 business days to get the final pathology back. Doctor will review final pathology with us, discuss treatment options, and finalize the plan prior to us returning home.

Please pray that we will have a date for the biopsy very soon.

A post that I don't want to write

2011-01-25T08:24:00.000-05:00

No easy way to say it--Jason's cancer is back. We got word yesterday from Jason's doctor at Duke that it is bad and he is worried that it has transformed into a higher grade. He wants Jason to have biopsy done. He will be having that done at Duke. We are just waiting to hear as to when this will occur. We anticipate it happening by the end of this week or next week.

This news came to us as a surprise because Jason has been feeling very good and we have not noticed any changes in him. We ask for you to lift each of us up in prayer for strength and peace the coming days, weeks, and months. Please be bold in your prayers and ask for complete healing for Jason as well! Our God is in the business of miracles as we have witnessed in the past.

Help support our 7 year old daughter!

2010-12-20T21:16:00.000-05:00

Our daughter, Taylor, wants to raise money to build homes for families in Haiti. Please follow the link below to read more and see how you can help! Please share this link on your facebook and blog to help spread the word.

Homes of Grace for Haiti

REMISSION!!!

2010-09-29T20:00:00.000-04:00

I know it has been an extremely long time since the last post, but we couldn't be more excited about this post.

The doctor said Jason is in remission!!! Our God is an awesome God and we just want to say thank you to each and every person that has lifted Jason up in his/her prayers because we know that this is only possible through God!

2010-03-26T10:10:00.000-04:00

Jason's appointment went great--five minutes with the doctor and out. They said that his MRI looked great and that he just needs to keep doing what he's been doing. He will continue to get MRI's every 2 months and he will go back to Duke in September (6 months--yeah!) Praise God!

We are now in Florida for spring break and hope to have a fantastic week. Blessings to all.

2010-03-22T07:09:00.000-04:00

Ok, I know it's been an extremely long time since I've given an update but it's going to be a bit longer yet--sorry. We are driving to Duke Wednesday night for Jason's doctor appointment on Thursday. After that, we will continue on down to Florida for Spring break. I will update as soon as I can. Blessings.

2010-03-16T11:01:00.002-04:00

The following blog describes the happenings in Haiti for a volunteer. Be warned, tears will flow as you read about the injustices that occur.

http://barbieroots.blogspot.com//

Haiti

2010-02-12T19:40:00.000-05:00

Continue to pray for the country of Haiti and her people--there is so much despair but there is so much hope. Take time to remember that devastating day. Take time to remember the pictures and the stories of so many. Take time to praise our Heavenly Father like so many of the Haitians are doing today. Take time to ...send some money over to help with relief efforts. Take time to listen to this song.

Are You Listening: A Love Song For Haiti by Kirk Franklin

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=15x4nllJjpg

Prayers & Donations needed for Haiti

2010-01-17T16:59:00.000-05:00

Heartline Ministries will be opening up a 24/7 medical clinic in Haiti on Monday. There is an extreme need for monetary donations as they will need to purchase medical supplies, gasoline, and other items. Please go to http://www.heartlineminitries.org/ and make your donation now.

Three Angels Children's Relief Update

2010-01-15T13:18:00.000-05:00

What we *think* we know.

Dear friends, family and supporters -
We still have only gotten limited communication and are anxious to get feet on the ground (hopefully by tomorrow) to give us a real picture of what the need will be. Information is spotty and often unreliable but this is what we feel fairly confident communicating.
First, your fund-raising efforts are working and we are experiencing a generosity that we pray continues - this will truly be a joint effort with every person who gives.
We have had reports that the air quality is starting to bother some of the children. However, all of the kids, even the "sick" ones still seemed to be doing well - they are out playing and being silly.
Thanks to Megan Haug we were actually able to get some pictures of the children today - it certainly did us all a level of good.
We also received pictures of the property and in the light of day the prognosis is not very encouraging. Our structural engineer will hopefully give us better news
We have heard good news of friends who are alive: Alix, Reggie, most of our nannies, Gabriel, Madame Valet... yet there are still those we have not heard from. Many of those who have returned to Three Angels have lost loved ones and are grieving.
We are truly hoping to be able to secure 'parole visas' for the children and get them to the United States as soon as possible. We are not sure if this is attainable but are working diligently to pursue every option.

Haiti is in a very tenuous state right now and will only continue to deteriorate in the coming days. We hear that tension is rising. Price gauging for things like fuel are a reality and will become worse as fuel become more scarce. People will become even more desperate as water and food become scarce.

All civilian flights to Haiti were halted Thursday at the request of the Haitian government because there is no room at the damaged airport for more planes and no fuel to spare for departing aircraft. We are still hopeful that this will change in time for our team to arrive tomorrow afternoon.

From one of our friends in Haiti, "We are starting to see people on the streets with their mouth and nose covered with a cloth or a mask as the stench of death is beginning to hang in the air. In our particular area it is not as bad as some places where bodies are stacked on the side of the road and still buried in rubble. Today as I was on the road, I was passed by a police pickup truck that was stacked with dead bodies. I assure you that no photo can communicate the pain and despair that so many are feeling as we are now entering the days of discovery."

We truly appreciate your donations, your prayers and your offers of assistance.

Please continue praying for the many people we haven't heard from, some of our staff, birth families, etc. We long to hear word that they are ok. Also pray for peace to remain. As people get desperate for food and water, things could decline. Peace needs to remain in order to get the help they need. Thanks for checking in and again if you are considering donating, Three Angels needs your help!

My hope lies in our Maker!

2010-01-13T15:38:00.000-05:00

As you all have heard about the devastating earthquake in Haiti, many of you may be wondering how you can help. There a few organizations that I have personally been to in Haiti and I will list them. You can go to the sites and read the updates as they come through from the organizations.

I will tell you that my son, Aliston, and the other boys at St Joseph's guesthouse are ok. They are all accounted for and are currently up at Wings of Hope. I have not been able to communicate with him directly but I do know that he is ok.

Three Angels Children's Relief is were I have been for my mission trips to Haiti. All of the children got out of the orphanage--praise the Lord. The building has some structural damage but is still standing. Several of the buildings around the area are gone (Carribean Market where we did our shopping, St Joseph's guesthouse where we have stayed in the past, schools, etc.)

I could go on and on but I will leave it with this--even in all of the turmoil, the Haitian people are singing their praises and prayers to our Heavenly Father. Please follow in their footsteps. Pray, praise, give, and pray some more.

http://www.threeangelsrelief.org/

http://www.heartlineministries.org/

http://www.livesayhaiti.blogspot.com/

http://www.haitirescuecenter.wordpress.com/

http://www.boskohaiti.com/

Merry Christmas Family & Friends!

2009-12-10T16:15:00.002-05:00

What a truly wonderful time of year--celebrating the birth of Jesus which happens to be the best gift ever given.

Jason and I got back from Duke earlier this week. Jason's appointment went just fine and the doctor is impressed with how well Jason is doing. He has been off treatment for 19 weeks and the MRI was "rock solid stable" as the doctor put it. Do you know how awesome this is? Do you know what an awesome God we have? Many of you have wondered whatever happened with the PET scan issue. Well, the ins. company never approved it but the doctor did say to us that he really believes that had Jason gotten the PET scan back in Aug. that it would've came back "cold" (inactive/dead cancer cells). The reason he feels this is because if it would've been "hot" the MRI would have changed by now. I must say that this is one of the next best gifts ever!

If any of you are in the area this weekend, Taylor invites you to come out to Messiah Lutheran Church to see the musical "The Best Christmas Present Ever". Show times are Saturday, Dec 12 @ 7:00PM and Sunday, Dec 13 @ 9:30AM or 11:00AM. The kids have worked so hard over the last couple of months to bring this amazing show to the community. They would love to have you come out and see & hear all about "The good news"!

Our family wants to say thank you for all of your prayers and support these last couple of years! It has meant the world to us.

We wish you a very Merry CHRISTmas! Jason, Joslyn, Taylor & Easton

A long time--be sure to scroll down b/c I added some new pics

2009-11-15T20:43:00.003-05:00

Well I know it has been a while since our last post, but life just gets in the way sometimes:)

Things in the Krenzke household are going great. Taylor is loving 1st grade and is reading like a champ! I am so amazed to watch her reading books now (not just memorized from me reading it to her but actually reading the words)--it's so cool. Taylor has been busy with rehearsals for her first ever play--she is in the play "The Best Christmas Present Ever" and it will be at our church on Dec. 12 and 13th. She is in the chorus (which happens to be the main part of the show) and has a solo towards the end of the play that will absolutely touch your heart (I have to admit, I get tears in my eyes every time she sings it--she's wonderful).

Easton is liking preschool and has a couple of new buddies. It's nice seeing him find friends (sister is like a social butterfly). He has been skating once a week for the last few weeks and is getting better by the minute (at least that is what I'm told--I haven't seen him because he usually goes with Grandpa or daddy). I can't wait to see him out on the ice! He starts hockey again in January. He, too, is going to be in the Christmas play but just for one song at the end of the play with all the Sunday schoolers.

Jason is back in the swing of things with school and teaching. He is feeling fabulous and has been off treatment for 16 weeks now! He heads back to Duke the beginning of December and we're hoping that will be our last trip there for a while. He's up North right now trying to get himself a deer--he would really like some venison. Baseball is just around the corner--he'll have clinics starting up in February and I'm sure it'll be here before we know it.

I have been busy with the kiddos, work, and getting myself ready to go back to school for nursing--yes, I said I'm going back to school and I.am.so.excited! This has been something that has been on my mind for a couple of years since going on my first mission trip to Haiti. The time seems to be right for me to do it, and I will start a couple of classes in January. It's interesting, everytime I tell someone that I'm going to go back to school to become a nurse, they say "you'll be good at that". I sure hope everyone is right:)

Blessings to everyone and I hope that you have a wonderful Thanksgiving! Joslyn

2009-09-28T19:04:00.001-04:00

Praise God and know that He is still in the business of miracles! Jason had a MRI today and my untrained eye believes that it looked stable. This made it 9 weeks since his last treatment and he is feeling awesome.

2009-08-11T18:49:00.002-04:00

Well, Jason wasn't able to get the PET scan done yesterday because our insurance company denied the pre-authorization. However, the docs are pretty confident that they will get it approved through our insurance company and he will get the scan done in Midland (hoping this happens in the next couple of weeks). You know, all the politics and stuff!

Meanwhile, Jason has decided to stop treatment (chemo and Avastin) for the time being. He is feeling really well and just wants to take a break. If he can get the PET scan done in the next couple of weeks, it will help him decide whether or not he will start taking the Avastin again. We do know that the chemotherapy portion of his treatment is done for sure. The chemo is the part that makes Jason feel sick and fatigued for a few days afterwards. Right now, the plan is to take the next 4 weeks off for sure and wait to see if the PET scan gets approved.

We know that stopping treatment right now may seem a bit scary to some of you but this is something that both Jason and I are very comfortable with. Jason's MRI looks really good compared to this time last year and this is the best he has felt this entire time.

2009-07-15T08:33:00.002-04:00

It has definitely been a while since the last post but this is good because it means all things are going well with Jason. He goes to Duke Aug. 10th for his first PET scan and that will help determine if the cancer cells are active or inactive. It will be one year since his progression and we are so thankful for the treatment that he has been on for the past year because it has held the cancer at bay.

We went to Florida in June with all of Jason's family and we had a great time. The kids loved Magic Kingdom and the waterslide & lazy river at the resort we stayed at.

I can't believe that it is already the middle of July--the summer always goes so fast. We head up North for a week in August and then off to Duke for a couple of days. I will post as soon as I can with Jason's updates in Aug. Have a wonderful summer. Jos

Looking Good

2009-06-01T11:50:00.003-04:00

Dr. appt went just fine. All is stable with the MRI and the docs are pleased with how well Jason is feeling. We come back Aug. 10th to have his PET scan done and will determine course of action then. Otherwise, treatment every 3 weeks as usual. God is good all the time and all the time God is good!

The baseball team, unfortunately, lost to Mt. Pleasant in district finals this past Saturday. So another season is finished. Just have to start getting ready for next season.

Taylor and Easton continue to grow like weeds and they get smarter and funnier and more challenging every day. Parenthood is priceless! Blessings to all, Joslyn

2009-05-22T09:22:00.002-04:00

Boy, has it been a while since I posted anything. This means things are going well and time has been zipping by. We have been busy this month. Regular season baseball is officially over and they are 20-7. They start tournament play on Tuesday. They play Freeland at Alma at 4:00. Good luck boys!

Taylor has been in Tee ball this spring and she is doing well. It's sometimes very hard to just sit and not saying anything when your daughter is dancing, singing, laying on the ground or whatever it is that she maybe doing when she supposed to be ready for the ball. Oh, the absolute joys of watching 5 & 6 year olds. No really, they are a lot of fun to watch and they are funny. Taylor has a few more games left.

Jason has been feeling great. We head to Duke for his doctor's appointment on June 1st. So, his MRI is set for May 27th and hopefully all is wonderful with the scan. Keep us in your prayers. Thanks and blessings to all of you, Joslyn

Easton's birthday

2009-04-25T21:23:00.002-04:00

Well, it's been a while since I last posted. Things are going just fine in the Krenzke household. We had Easton's birthday party today, and he seemed to really enjoy himself. He turns 4 tomorrow.

Taylor is now in Teeball. Her first game is Saturday, May 2nd. I guess she really makes some great comments out on the field and it's only been practices. I can only imagine what will be said or done during games.

Baseball is in full swing. The Creek are 8-3 for the season and they open up with conference play on Monday. You can get updated by going to the following link: http://www.hometeamsonline.com/teams/?u=CREEKBASEBALL&s=baseball&t=c

Max Yatch is recovering very well. He was able to make it out to the ball game last weekend to watch. Jason and Max's teammates were very, very happy to see him.

Bullock Creek is playing at the Dow Diamond on Sunday, May 3 at 2:00 against Troy-Anthens. Tickets will be $5 a piece and kids 5 and under get in free. The proceeds from the ticket sales will go to the Yatch family. Please make every effort to come out to the game and support the Creek and the Yatch family.

Blessings to everyone, Joslyn

Season opener

2009-04-02T07:50:00.004-04:00

Well the season officially starts today with the Creek playing Midland High. Jason is so excited about this season--he seems to be feeling much better this year and has a much clearer mind. Jason had another treatment yesterday--not sure what number that is (lost track)--so he woke up to his typically nausea. It's amazing how we can tell you exactly what's going to happen the days after treatment--it's like clockwork.

Max is doing extremely well--here was an update from earlier this week:
"WOW! We just saw Max yesterday (Sat.) and you wouldn't believe how well he is doing. :) He is getting therapy nearly 8 hours/day-every day, but we did see him on a couple of his breaks. Here's what's going on:
He had his trach plugged off for 24 hours so they are thinking that they will remove it very soon. He's talking-softly because of the trach, but he's definitely talking in a few word sentences! He talked to Paul on the phone. Not only can he get himself in and out of his wheelchair, but yesterday, he walked 400 feet! By himself! They are starting to feed him more and more through his mouth, with soft foods like applesauce and puddings. They need to make sure that after he swallows the food, it goes to his stomach and not his lungs (?) so when they are sure everything is working ok there, they will continue to add more and more. He is writing...he is adding/subtracting...he plays catch with George...he throws a ball up and has it come 2 inches from the ceiling, every time. As far as I can tell, he's using both arms/hands equally and normally. George said they have a driver's training area on site so Max will drive before he comes home. His expressions are the same...he still has that sheepish little grin."

The baseball team is going to be playing at Dow Diamond on Sunday, May 3rd at 2:00. This is the same day as the Miles for Max fundraiser. We are hoping to raise more money at the game for Max's family as well. It should be a great time. I will post more details as they become available.

Blessings for your day, Joslyn

Miles for Max Fundraiser Event

2009-03-22T09:01:00.002-04:00

Miles for Max is a fundraiser race for Max Yatch. He is a junior at Bullock Creek High School who was critically injured in a car accident in February

Sunday, May 3, 2009
11:00 - 2:00
5k walk/run starts at 11:00 from Bullock Creek Middle School ending at Bullock Creek High School

Kids only event 1 mile walk starts at 11:45 from the Bullock Creek Middle School

For more information, contact:
Jennifer Kreucher Email:bballjen44@yahoo.com Phone:989-835-9739

update on Max

2009-03-21T08:50:00.002-04:00

Date: Thursday, March 19, 2009, 10:26 PM
Max had a good day..he was "high fiving" his doctors and shaking their hands. Also, they asked him if he wanted to go for a ride in his wheelchair and he shook his head "yes". He also sat up in bed, with his legs over the side of the bed, feet on the floor...no support. This made him cough....in response to this, Max spit on the floor. This is good!!! (Oh...Max was moved to Mary Freebed in Grand Rapids, on Monday.)

Continue to keep Max in your prayers as this is going to be a long road to recovery, but praise God for all that He has already done for this young man.

2009-03-16T10:03:00.003-04:00

Do you sometimes struggle with knowing what the purpose of your life is? What your supposed to be doing? Why you feel so depressed? Why you can't be joyful?

I struggle with these things. I often feel like I'm missing the purpose in life and don't feel like I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing. I battle with depression regularly and am usually trying to figure out why I can't be joyful and happy. I think this will come as a surprise for most of you. I can put on a pretty good front--not that I'm trying to be deceitful but trying desperately to will myself to have joy. The problem is it doesn't matter how hard I try, I can't do it by myself.

You see, before knowing Christ, I always felt like I was missing something. There was a void that I couldn't fill, no matter what I tried. Now that I have Christ in my life--it's different. I have felt complete at times, and I have felt true joy. I still don't have these things all the time, but I sure hope to reach that point. What I have figured out is that the answers to my questions above feel answered when I'm in close relationship with God. Through the last few years, I have had times where I have felt extremely close to God and then there have been times when I have felt very distant from God. Depending on where that relationship is determines how complete I feel. I've discovered that God really is the only way to fill that void that I think all of us have. I want that close relationship with God. I need that close relationship with God. I want my void to be filled. I need my void to be filled.

So, I guess the next question is am I willing to do what it takes to have that relationship with God? Am I willing to take that next step? Joslyn

The season is underway

2009-03-10T10:24:00.003-04:00

Baseball has officially started. It's rather amazing to me that it's time for baseball already. Jason is very excited about the season starting--it just stinks that he has treatment tomorrow because he will definitely be exhausted for his first week of practices. But you know what, we will take it because he's doing and feeling great.

We got his results back from Duke for the MRI he had last week and they said it is once again stable. Jason is to continue with the treatment schedule that he's been on, get another MRI in 6 weeks and head to Duke in 12 weeks. Life is good right now and we thank God for that!!! Joslyn

Immediate prayers needed

2009-02-24T11:39:00.001-05:00

Immediate prayers are needed for one of Jason's baseball players--Max. He was in an auto accident this morning and he is in critical condition. He was airflighted to Convenant. I don't know any other details right now but please lift Max and his family up to God right now. Thank you. Joslyn

10th treatment

2009-02-20T12:39:00.002-05:00

Jason had his 10th treatment this past Wednesday. He's doing well--only one vomiting session on Thursday morning and exhausted as usual. Jason is extremely grateful for how well he handles his treatments. He knows that he is very blessed not to be having the side effects that many people experience while on chemotherapy. He has 8 more treatments until it has been one year since beginning this treatment cycle. 30 weeks past and only 22 remaining! Blessings to all.

Hockey

2009-02-06T12:07:00.003-05:00

Not much new to report on the health end of things--Jason is feeling well and he has a week and a half until his next treatment.

The kids are doing great. Each day is a joy to be with them. They are definitely a handful but really good kids. They have been in hockey for about 5 weeks now and I cannot believe how much they have improved in this short period of time. Taylor no longer complains about it being "hockey practice" and seems to be enjoying it. She didn't want to be in hockey practice, she wanted to be in figuring skating, however, for my sanity of not having to run around all week long to the ice rink, we chose to put Taylor and Easton together in hockey and then they both could learn to skate. Well, Taylor always said that she was going to "skating lessons" and Easton always said he was going to "hockey practice" even though is was the same thing. She no longer corrects us when we say hockey which is a good thing. We do have a deal with her though that if she likes skating and wants to continue with it she can do figure skating like her cousin Tana in the next session. Taylor is all about the music, the costumes, and the performance--she'll love it.

As for Easton, he is a bit of a challenge on the ice sometimes. Easton wants to be the best at everything and he can't stand it when someone is better than him. I have to tell you, Easton is a very good skater for being 3 years old, and I'm not just saying that because he's my son. He is just a natural born athlete. He either chooses to be on or off for each practice. Take for example this past week. Saturday they had hockey and my parents came up to watch. Easton would not do anything but stand there stiff as a board on the ice or follow Jason around the ice complaining and whining about how he can't skate, that he keeps falling (he doesn't realize that he just chased his dad around the whole rink and was skating just fine). Jason has a hard time dealing with Easton when he gets like that--he just wants him to stop whining and just start skating. So needless to say, Easton's hockey outing on Saturday was probably one of his worst performances thus far. Then, at Wednesday night's practice, Easton had his best performance so far. He did awesome. He's the youngest kid out there, yet he was doing all the drills that the other kids were doing, following directions, and yes skating very well. You could tell that he was having such a great time and when he came off the ice, he was so proud of himself. That's a much better Easton to deal with then his grumpy self! It was funny, he said to Jason before practice that day, "I don't want to skate faster than you, I just want to skate as fast as you!" You gotta love it.

Blessings on your day! Joslyn

Stable

2009-01-26T11:27:00.003-05:00

Well, Dr. Reardon said the MRI looks good and stable. The plan is to continue with his treatments as usual and we don't have to come back to Duke for 18 weeks. We will still send them his MRIs every 6 weeks but we really didn't want Jason to miss any baseball. The doc was fine with that since Jason is doing so well. In August, Jason will have a PET scan done. That will show if there is any "active cells". MRIs don't show whether or not tumor cells are dying off or not but the PET scan will. They assume since there has not been any growth that the cells are dying off but won't know that for sure until the PET scan. Praising God!

My educated guess

2009-01-20T09:41:00.002-05:00

After looking at Jason's MRI last night, I have to say the tumor appears to be stable. There didn't seem to be any changes that I could see. We'll have to wait to hear officially from the doctor on Monday though. God is good! Joslyn

Mixed emotions

2009-01-19T12:58:00.002-05:00

It's been a while since I have really written much. Not that I haven't wanted to write, just not sure what to write--so I didn't write anything.

Today brings mixed emotions for me. Last year on this day, Jason got his very first MRI done. We had no idea about his cancer at this time and he was only getting the MRI done to rule out worst case scenarios at least that is what the doc said. I had actually been telling Jason to suck it up a little--all he was having were some headaches (heck, I have them daily--what's his deal). Can you imagine if he would have listened to me?! I'm so glad that he chose to ignore his wife that time and went with his gut feeling that something wasn't right (keep in mind, Jason thought he had a pinched nerve or something). After the doc ordered the MRI, I had a very yucky feeling from that day until we actually got "the call". Jason and I hadn't said anything to each other about the MRI until the day before we got the call. I looked at Jason when we were driving home from church and asked him the question that I hadn't been able to shake "what if it is a tumor?" Jason just looked at me and said, "it won't be."

On the 21st, Jason called me just as I was walking in the house from dropping Taylor off for preschool. When I saw his phone number show up, I knew the call wasn't going to be a good one. You know those feelings that you get--well that's what I had and as soon as I heard Jason's voice--I knew. He didn't have to say anything further, his voice said it all and that is when our lives flipped upside down.

So fast forward a year, and here we are on the 19th of January again and Jason is getting another MRI. I have been a bit anxious all day and suppose I won't really feel calm until we hear what the doctors at Duke say next Monday. So, now instead of waiting to hear that everything is just fine, we wait to hear whether the cancer is shrinking, stable, or progressing. The hardest part is the "not knowing" part. So the waiting begins--please pray for my nerves to be calm, my mind to have peace, and my heart to have comfort during this next week.

Blessings, Joslyn

Some more

2009-01-01T21:02:00.000-05:00

Some pics from Christmas

2009-01-01T20:52:00.002-05:00

2009-01-01T09:44:00.002-05:00

Can you believe that 2008 is gone? It went by so fast, yet at times, it felt like an eternity. I will admit, I am not sad to see 2008 gone. It was a year of pain, hopelessness, and sadness. Yet, it was also a year to grow in my faith, to be challenged, and to somehow find hope again. With the passing of 2008 comes also another milestone for us--we are coming up on a year of Jason discovering his cancer--January 19th. Thinking back to this time last year, who would have ever imagined that our family's world would have been turn upside down and rocked in all ways. When we first discovered Jason's illness, I didn't know how in the world I was going to make it through the next day let alone an entire year. Yet, somehow I managed. I can only give credit to God in all of this--He definitely carried me most of the way. Although, I must say, it has been truly awesome to see all the love and support from all of you as well. You all made each day somehow bareable. So I say thank you from the bottom of my heart for helping to bring me to a new year. Do I know what 2009 has in store for us--absolutely not. However, I do know that God with be my strength through whatever comes our way. Wishing you all a wonderful New Year and may God bless you abundantly! Joslyn

Merry Christmas to all!

2008-12-25T00:39:00.003-05:00

Have you opened your gift from God yet? It's the best gift you'll ever receive--a gift that will always be there for you, a gift that never wears out or breaks, a gift that keeps on giving. Know what it is??? Jesus!

When I say...

2008-12-14T07:56:00.002-05:00

'A woman's heart should be so hidden in Christ that a man should have to seek Him first to find her.'

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I'm not shouting 'I'm clean livin.'' I'm whispering 'I was lost, now I'm found and forgiven."

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I don't speak of this with pride. I'm confessing that I stumble and need Christ to be my guide.

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I'm not trying to be strong. I'm professing that I'm weak and need His strength to carry on.

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I'm not bragging of success. I'm admitting I have failed and need God to clean my mess.

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I'm not claiming to be perfect. My flaws are far too visible, but God believes I am worth it.

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I still feel the sting of pain. I have my share of heartaches, so I call upon His name.

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I'm not holier than thou, I'm just a simple sinner Who received God's good grace, somehow!

An early Christmas present!

2008-12-11T12:04:00.003-05:00

Duke called us this morning to let us know that the MRI sh0wed the tumor to be stable--praise God & Merry Christmas. They didn't say anything else other than we'll see you in 6 weeks. So everything stays the same. Jason will continue receiving treatment every 3 weeks and we will go to Duke Jan. 26th. Blessings to all! Joslyn

Snow day!

2008-12-01T16:51:00.002-05:00

Well, there's definitely no denying it--winter is here! We had our first snow day of the season and the kids didn't seem to mind at all.

Jason made it through his treatment last week just fine. It was nice that they were off school Wed thru Fri--he was able to lay low for those days and nap when it was needed. We had a wonderful Thanksgiving--so much to be thankful for! Jason's next MRI is scheduled for Monday, Dec. 15th. We will be sending the MRI to Duke and they will call us with the results--pray for stable, heck, pray for shrinkage!

We put up our Christmas tree and other decorations yesterday--I always like it when the Christmas tree is all decorated and lit up. It seems to brighten my day just looking at it. I am so thankful that God sent His son for us--do you realize just how much God loves you and I?

Blessings on your week! Joslyn

Treatment time again.

2008-11-24T11:55:00.002-05:00

Can you believe how time just flies! It has already been 3 weeks and Jason is due for his next round of treatment today at 3:15. Please pray that the medicine will continue to work and keep his cancer stable. Also, pray for his strength and that his fatigue will be limited.

Jason was able to up north and hunt this past weekend. Unfortunately, he didn't even see a deer let alone shoot one:( Oh well, that's how it goes sometimes. My parents came up here for the weekend. It was nice to spend some time with them. My mom and I went shopping for Christmas gifts and we were able to get a lot done. I don't think that I am going to go shopping on Black Friday because the stores were already busy enough and we haven't even hit Thanksgiving!

Have a blessed Thanksgiving and remember to give thanks to all the people and especially God for all that they have given you. Happy Thanksgiving Day! The Krenzke's

Just busy

2008-11-11T10:36:00.002-05:00

Sorry for the delay in posting but I've just been busy the last week. There is a Haitian dance troupe in Midland, and I have been working on that committee so the days have been filled. They are here for another week so if you would like to come out and see them perform--they are really good--here is the info:

Saturday, November 15th full dance performance at 4:00 pm at Messiah Lutheran Church--no charge, free-will offering accepted

Sunday, November 16th full dance performance at 4:00 pm at Bullock Creek High School Auditorium--admission fee of $5 for adults, $2 for students, and free for preschool and younger.

Jason has been feeling well since his last treatment. He has been fatigued quite a bit this last week but that is expected with his treatment. The fatigue will most likely continue and get worse as he continues his treatments. Otherwise, he feels good! Praise God!

Blessings on your week, Joslyn

Good news!

2008-11-03T16:01:00.004-05:00

The doctor was pleased with the MRI--the scan looks good and everything is stable. Our appointment was scheduled for 10:30 this morning, yet we didn't get in until 2:45--it was a rather long wait but well worth it. We are now waiting to get into the treatment room --hoping to be out of here by 7:00 PM. We might have time for dinner tonight:)

The doctor was comfortable enough to allow us to just send him the next MRI in 6 weeks. We don't have to come back to Duke for 12 weeks--yeah! God is good all the time and all the time God is good! Blessings on your day, Jason & Joslyn

Off to Duke

2008-11-02T07:54:00.002-05:00

Jason and I leave for Duke again today--six weeks really goes fast. His appointment is at 10:30 with the Doctor and then he has treatment at 11:45 on Monday. I will post as soon as I can with the results. We will return Tuesday afternoon.

Back to the Haiti stories:
Sunday, Oct. 19th, we went to Port Au Prince Fellowship for church and I must say "wow". Have you ever felt the Holy Spirit just pouring over you and out of you? That is what I felt during this service--I don't think that I have ever felt the Holy Spirit's presence like I did that day. The pastor is an American that has been in ministries in Haiti for 19 years and everything was spoken in English. The majority of the church members are Haitian and so is the worship band. We started the service with about 6 or 7 praise songs. Then, they had guest speakers from 2 areas that were hit extremely hard by the hurricanes, Gonieves & Caberet. It was heartwrenching to hear about the destruction and the loss that those people are experiencing right now. They spoke about everyone being the hands & feet of Jesus to those in need and that we needed to get to these areas literally and help them with food, water, and hope. After those 2 gentlemen spoke, the pastor spoke about missions during his sermon. How appropriate--here we are on a mission trip to help the people of Haiti and the people of Haiti are being encouraged to help others around the world like China & Africa. Then church ended with some more praise and worship songs. I could hardly contain myself--church had lasted 2 hours already and I could've gone another 2. Tears were pouring down my face while I was praising our Lord--arms in the air, dancing, singing (I don't have too great of a voice but this day I felt like I did:) smiling, and crying all at once and I didn't care who saw me or what they thought of me. I had complete joy--boy, do I wish that I could do those things here in my own church and not worry about what others are thinking of me or them thinking that I have become a complete nut about the Lord. I wish that my earthly mind would just diminish and that my soul would just open up to my Lord the way I want it to. I wish that I didn't care what others thought of me and only cared about what my Lord thinks of me--I pray for this kind of thinking. I pray for that true joy and happiness again. I believe that is why it is so hard to come home after time spent on a mission trip--you see and feel what true joy is and often recognize that you don't have that true joy in our every day living. Dear Lord, allow me the pleasure of basking in your love. Allow me to find true joy in my everyday living. Allow me to to seek your approval and not the approval of others. Amen. Blessings to all, Joslyn

200 patients

2008-10-30T07:41:00.002-04:00

On Wednesday, we went to another ministry called Heartline Ministries to hold a medical clinic for them. They have a women's center that teaches them about prenatal care, post partum care, family planning, birthcontrol, and a trade like sewing so the women can bring in some income for their families. This type of center is vital for the country of Haiti. This ministry also has an orphanage for boys & girls and they can have up to 20 kids. It was interesting to see how their orphanage was set up and ran--I'm sure it will give Three Angels some ideas to use at our orphanage.
We had told Heartline that we would be able to see about 70 patients so they handed out 200 tickets. We were able to see the 200 patients in about 6 hours with 3 providers--this was definitely God's doing and not our's. Just to put it in prospective on Monday we saw around 85 patients with 3 providers in 8 hours!
A family of 5 came in together to see the doctor's and they were tested for HIV because we knew that the mom was HIV positive. Unfortunately for this family, all of them tested positive--can you imagine finding out in one day that your entire family was HIV positive? Pray for this family, pray that they will be able to receive the treatment that they will need and pray that they would seek God for their hope during this most difficult time.

Blessings to all, Joslyn

Back from Haiti

2008-10-28T09:44:00.003-04:00

I've only been home from Haiti for 3 days, yet it feels like it was months since I was there. It is always so difficult to come back to the States after being in Haiti. Don't get me wrong, I am excited to see my husband and kids, but I wish I could stay longer. There are so many problems in Haiti like the lack of clean water, food, infrastructure, jobs, education, etc. The list could continue on and on. There seems to be no way out for the Haitians but that is when you rely on the only thing that can solve these problems and that is God. With God, all things are possible. Many people ask, "How was your trip to Haiti?" It is often hard to answer that question because one, there are so many different God stories that I could share--I could talk for hours about my trip and two, it is so hard to put these experiences into words that would truly describe what takes place in your heart. But the reality is that most people barely have time to hear about one story let alone hours worth of stories. So my hope is to share with you over the course of several blog entries some of the God stories that occured while we were on our mission trip.

God has blessed me so much over the course of my life, yet I still find things to complain about. Haiti is the poorest country in the western hemisphere, and it is only 600 miles off the coast of Florida. I have never seen or experienced "need" in its truest form until I traveled to Haiti last July. Our mission trips take us to the capital of Haiti which is Port Au Prince. As soon as you get outside of the airport, you see need immediately. Yet, I have not even seen the worst of the needs because I have not been to the countryside in Haiti. I cannot even begin to imagine how bad it is in the countryside because what I see in the capital city is horrible already. Yet, with all their needs, the Haitian people still find ways to smile, greet you with "bon swa (good afternoon)", and to laugh. It truly is amazing to see how they live yet they are joyful and happy. Joy and happiness do not come from the things that we have--it comes from having the love of Jesus in us, and this is so evident in Haiti.

The first God story that I am going to share with you is about a boy named Fon Fon. We were first introduced to Fon Fon as we got out of our vans at the Brother's Hospital. It was not the normal introduction. We first heard Fon Fon from the second story of the hospital screaming out. If you have ever lost someone close to you, you know the scream that I am talking about. After the scream, I knew that someone had just learned about someone close to them passing away. My heart just dropped to the ground listening to the sobs of a young boy that just lost his mother. Many of the people on our team were already hesitant and dare I say scared about being at the hospital and then to get out of the vans to hear a little boy screaming because his mom just died--many probably wanted to climb back in the vans and head back to the medical clinic where we were working at, but God had different plans in mind. Before continuing on about Fon Fon, I need to give you some backgroud information.

This hospital was a hospital for the dying and no one on our team had been there before so we really didn't know what to expect. All we knew was there were people that were terminally ill from Aids and TB at the hospital, and we were going there to essentially be the hands and feet of Jesus. We did not know what we would be doing at the hospital and many on the team were very uncomfortable. Many were praying the night before as to whether or not it was God's plan for them to go. In the end, all of our team went and all of us were blessed for having done so.

After arriving at the hospital, we were told that we wouldn't be doing much medical work with the patients. They wanted us to give the patients massages, shave their faces, and cut their fingernails and toenails. Due to some hesitation on our part, it took us a few minutes to get warmed up to the idea of massaging and shaving people with HIV and TB. Women patients were on the second floor and men patients were on the first floor. The rooms were community style rooms with around 20 beds in each room. As we entered the room with our gloves and masks on, the women began taking their hospital gowns off so that we could massage them. Their faces and smiles said everything that needed to be said--we were being the hands and feet of Jesus to these patients and they were absolutely thrilled. The power of touch is amazing. These people long to be touched just like you and I do and I was so glad that God had chosen me to be a part of this. We continued giving massages and we went into another room filled with more patients. There was a girl around 19 years old that looked more like 12 lying in bed. As a couple of people began massaging her, she started to seize. I joined them a few minutes later not knowing what had just occured. All I knew was that one of our teammates asked me to go get Pastor Kurt to pray over this girl because they thought she was about to die. Several of us stood around the young lady laying our hands on her while Pastor prayed. After the prayer, Pastor saw a Haitian standing behind all of us--he was the girl's father. We had him come up by his daughter's head and he began to pray over his daughter. Right there, in front of all us, he began to pray to our Lord while watching his daughter struggle to stay here on earth. Then the most wonderful thing occured, the father started singing and praising the Lord. This touched my heart in such a way--here is a man about to lose his daughter yet he is praising the Lord, our Lord. The girl did not die that day, she slept peacefully through the night. We know this because her father talked with one of our translators on the phone the next day. He wanted to let us know that she was still alive and that he was grateful for our presence. I don't know if this girl has passed away yet, however, I do know that God was pleased and honored.

Meanwhile, another of our team members was spending time with Fon Fon and learning about him and his family. He is 12 years old and had been living with his mother at the hospital for 4 months. He has 3 brothers and 1 sister all younger than him that are living in the poorest and most dangerous city in the western hemisphere called City Sole. Their father does not work and barely takes care of the children. Can you imagine what was going through this boy's mind--essentially he was going to be the caretaker for his brothers and sister while being a kid himself.
It was not a coincidence that his mother passed away just as we were getting out of the vans--this was a God-incident. God could've taken her home the day before or the day after but He chose that time because He knew that our team was going to be there and He was calling many of our teammembers to help this boy and his family out. So that is what happened--in a nutshell. There are several details that need to be worked out, but Fon Fon and his brothers and sister are going to be taken care of. The first order of business was to find them a place to live--somewhere away from City Sole. Rent is already covered for the first year ($1200 US dollars) and the place is near where our Haitian clinic manager lives. He and another of our translators are going to be checking in on the kids and making sure they are ok. The next things on the agenda are food, clothing, and schooling for these kids which are in the process. God is good all the time and all the time God is good!

2008-10-18T02:29:00.002-04:00

THANK YOU everyone! You have blown us away again and we humbly say thank you and praise God for all that He has done and is doing. With love-- Jason, Joslyn, Taylor & Easton

opening up my soul

2008-10-16T12:20:00.003-04:00

Have you ever felt like your heart is just about to leap out of your chest because of so much joy and happiness? I cannot explain to you the feelings that I have been having over the course of the last few days but can I just tell you that I feel like I'm going to explode from this indescribable feeling I have. God is and has been working mightily in me for the last few weeks and I can just feel the Holy Spirit about to take off through me. I have never felt so loved like I do this week. Don't get me wrong, I know that I am loved and that people care about me. There really is only one other time that I have sorta felt the kind of love that I am feeling these days and that was when my brother, Shaun, died in a car accident when I was 18. Our family had so many people there to support us and to love on us. It was an amazing feeling and one that I really didn't think that I would ever feel again. But can I just tell you that even with all the love I felt during that time in my life, I never felt the kind of love I feel today. God was not a part of my life then and I really didn't know if I would make it through that difficult period of time. The amount of love that I feel today is 10 times or maybe even 100 times more than I felt then. I can for 100% certainty tell all of you that the agape love that I have felt from God over the last year and especially the last few weeks & days is worth everything that I have ever gone through. I am right where I need to be in this time of my life and I wouldn't trade any of it for the world. This may seem strange to some of you--heck, it even feels strange to me but there's really no words to describe what I am feeling. I want to make a difference in this world, I want to be a light to someone that is in complete darkness, and I want to not only be a believer in Jesus Christ but also a true follower of Jesus Christ. Boy is that hard to say to myself let alone share it so publicly with you all because that makes me vulnerable. Anyway, I have no clue what tomorrow may bring at the benefit dinner, but I can already tell you this--I feel your love today and I'm not even with all of you yet. There may be some huge tears on my part but please know that they are tears of absolute joy and happiness. Someone said to me today, "it's too bad that we couldn't have our funerals before we die because then we would know just how much we are loved," and just maybe knowing that love would make a difference in the rest of our lives. This is so true--why do we wait until someone is gone to let everyone know that we loved that person. I feel truly blessed to be going through this battle because we have had a chance to see just how many people love us and care for us. My hope is that all people would have the feeling this I have today, to know that they are loved no matter what, to know that this kinda of love comes from God. I am so proud to say that this is my God. Blessings, Joslyn

Roller coasters

2008-10-12T16:28:00.004-04:00

Hello all. Can you believe that it is already the middle of October?! The time is just flying by. This past year has been a roller coaster of a ride and I am so grateful that God is going over the hills into the unknown before we are. God truly does give you peace about the unknown if you are just willing to ask and then follow Him. These past few weeks I have been a bit emotional--many times ending in tears--some tears of joy, some tears of sadness, some tears of not knowing. Do you ever have times in your life where you feel God is just calling out to you and pulling you in towards Him so His arms are wrapped so tight around you that you know that it can only be God comforting you? I have had this feeling for the last couple of weeks and I am so glad that I know that my God loves me and cares about how I am feeling and knows how to comfort me.

Jason heads into his 4th round of treatment tomorrow (Monday, Oct. 13th at 3:15) and I would just ask that you would keep in your prayers. Pray for him to continue to feel strong and healthy, that he will tolerate the treatment just like he has the past 3 times, and that he, too, finds comfort in our Almighty God (and that he would know what to do with his wife when she enters these times of huge crocodile tears:)! Blessings on your week, Jason & Joslyn

Well worth the reading

2008-10-05T15:51:00.000-04:00

HAIRBRUSH EXPERIENCE OF BETH MOORE AT THE AIRPORT

For those of you who do not know Beth Moore, she founded Living Proof Ministries in 1994 with the purpose of teaching women how to love and live on God's Word. She has written numerous books and Bible studies, including Breaking Free, Believing God, and The Patriarchs, that have been read by women of all ages, races, and denominations. Through the years, American missionaries and expatriates have taken the Bible studies overseas, resulting in Beth Moore Bible study groups popping up all over the world. Upon completion of a tour of New England this fall, Beth's Living Proof Live conferences will have taken her to all fifty states since 1994. The events have been attended by more than 658,000 women. God has graciously given Beth the opportunity to serve the body of Christ in many different countries, including Ireland, England, Singapore, the Philippines, Puerto Rico, India, Angola, Kenya, and South Africa. Ever the storyteller, Beth is known to pepper her teaching with stories and poems written from the perspective of pertinent characters. She communicates with great energy, passion, humor, warmth, and grace. Beth attends Houston's First Baptist Church, where she hosts an interdenominational Tuesday-night Bible study for women in her city. Because of her burden for unity in the body of Christ, Beth counts serving women of all denominations as one of her greatest privileges in life.

This is one of her experiences: April 20, 2005, at the Airport in Knoxville, waiting to board the plane, I had the Bible on my lap and was very intent upon what I was doing. I'd had a marvelous morning with the Lord. I say this because I want to tell you it is a scary thing to have the Spirit of God really working in you. You could end up doing some things you never would have done otherwise. Life in the Spirit can be dangerous for a thousand reasons not the least of which is your ego. I tried to keep from staring, but he was such a strange sight. Humped over in a wheelchair, he was skin and bones, dressed in clothes that obviously fit when he was at least twenty pounds heavier His knees protruded from his trousers, and his shoulders looked like the coat hanger was still in his shirt. His hands looked like tangled masses of veins and bones. The strangest part of him was his hair and nails. Stringy, gray hair hung well over his shoulders and down part of his back. His fingernails were long, clean but strangely out of place on an old man. I looked down at my Bible as fast as I could, discomfort burning my face. As I tried to imagine what his story might have been, I found myself wondering if I'd just had a Howard Hughes sighting. Then, I remembered that he was dead. So this man in the airport... an impersonator maybe? Was a camera on us somewhere? There I sat; trying to concentrate on the Word to keep from being concerned about a thin slice of humanity served up on a wheelchair only a few seats from me. All the while, my heart was growing more and more overwhelmed with a feeling for him. Let's admit it. Curiosity is a heap more comfortable than true concern, and suddenly I was awash with aching emotion for this bizarre-looking old man. I had walked with God long enough to see the handwriting on the wall. I've learned that when I begin to feel what God feels, something so contrary to my natural feelings, something dramatic is bound to happen. And it may be embarrassing. I immediately began to resist because I could feel God working on my spirit and I started arguing with God in my mind. 'Oh, no, God, please, no.' I looked up at the ceiling as if I could stare straight through it into heaven and said, 'Don't make me witness to this man. Not right here and now. Please. I'll do anything. Put me on the same plane, but don't make me get up here and witness to this man in front of this gawking audience. Please, Lord!' There I sat in the blue vinyl chair begging His Highness, 'Please don't make me witness to this man. Not now. I'll do it on the plane.' Then I heard it...'I don't want you to witness to him. I want you to brush his hair.' The words were so clear, my heart leap into my throat, and my thoughts spun like a top. Do I witness to the man or brush his hair? No-brainier. I looked straight back up at the ceiling and said, 'God, as I live and breathe, I want you to know I am ready to witness to this man. I'm on this Lord. I'm your girl! You've never seen a woman witness to a man faster in your life. What difference does it make if his hair is a mess if he is not redeemed? I am going to witness to this man' Again as clearly as I've ever heard an audible word, God seemed to write this statement across the wall of my mind. 'That is not what I said, Beth. I don't want you to witness to him. I want you to go brush his hair.' I looked up at God and quipped, 'I don't have a hairbrush. It's in my suitcase on the plane. How am I supposed to brush his hair without a hairbrush?' God was so insistent that I almost involuntarily began to walk toward him as these thoughts came to me from God's word: 'I will thoroughly furnish you unto all good works.' (2 Timothy 3:17) I stumbled over to the wheelchair thinking I could use one myself. Even as I retell this story, my pulse quickens and I feel those same butterflies. I knelt down in front of the man and asked as demurely as possible, 'Sir, may I have the pleasure of brushing your hair?' He looked back at me and said, 'What did you say?' 'May I have the pleasure of brushing your hair?' To which he responded in volume ten, 'Little lady, if you expect me to hear you, you're going to have to talk louder than that.' At this point, I took a deep breath and blurted out , 'SIR, MAY I HAVE THE PLEASURE OF BRUSHING YOUR HAIR?' At which point every eye in the place darted right at me. I was the only thing in the room looking more peculiar than old Mr. Long Locks. Face crimson and forehead breaking out in a sweat, I watched him look up at me with absolute shock on his face, and say, 'If you r really want to.' Are you kidding? Of course I didn't want to. But God didn't seem interested in my personal preference right about then. He pressed on my heart until I could utter the words, 'Yes, sir, I would be pleased. But I have one little problem. I don't have a hairbrush.' 'I have one in my bag,' he responded. I went around to the back of that wheelchair, and I got on my hands and knees and unzipped the stranger's old carry-on, hardly believing what I was doing. I stood up and started brushing the old man's hair. It was perfectly clean, but it was tangled and matted. I don't do many things well, but must admit I've had notable experience untangling knotted hair mothering two little girls. Like I'd done with either Amanda or Melissa in such a condition, I began brushing at the very bottom of the strands, remembering to take my time not to pull. A miraculous thing happened to me as I started brushing that old man's hair. Everybody else in the room disappeared. There was no one alive for those moments except that old man and me. I brushed and I brushed and I brushed until every tangle was out of that hair. I know this sounds so strange, but I've never felt that kind of love for another soul in my entire life. I believe with all my heart, I - for that few minutes - felt a portion of the very love of God. That He had overtaken my heart for a little while like someone renting a room and making Himself at home for a short while. The emotions were so strong and so pure that I knew they had to be God's. His hair was finally as soft and smooth as an infant's. I slipped the brush back in the bag and went around the chair to face him. I got back down on my knees, put my hands on his knees and said, 'Sir, do you know my Jesus?' He said, 'Yes, I do' Well, that figures, I thought. He explained, 'I've known Him since I married my bride. She wouldn't marry me until I got to know the Savior.' He said, 'You see, the problem is, I haven't seen my bride in months. I've had open-heart surgery, and she's been too ill to come see me. I was sitting here thinking to myself , what a mess I must be for my bride.' Only God knows how often He allows us to be part of a divine moment when we're completely unaware of the significance. This, on the other hand, was one of those rare encounters when I knew God had intervened in details only He could have known. It was a God moment, and I'll never forget it. Our time came to board, and we were not on the same plane. I was deeply ashamed of how I'd acted earlier and would have been so proud to have accompanied him on that aircraft. I still had a few minutes, and as I gathered my things to board, the airline hostess returned from the corridor, tears streaming down her cheeks. She said, 'That old man's sitting on the plane, sobbing. Why did you do that? What made you do that?' I said, 'Do you know Jesus? He can be the bossiest thing!' And we got to share. I learned something about God that day. He knows if you're exhausted, you're hungry, you're serving in the wrong place or it is time to move on but you feel too responsible to budge. He knows if you're hurting or feeling rejected. He knows if you're sick or drowning under a wave of temptation. Or He knows if you just need your hair brushed. He sees you as an individual. Tell Him your need! I got on my own flight, sobs choking my throat, wondering how many opportunities just like that one had I missed along the way . . all because I didn't want people to think I was strange. God didn't send me to that old man. He sent that old man to me. John 1:14 'The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth' Life shouldn't be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well-preserved body, but rather, to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly shouting, 'Wow! What a ride! Thank You, Lord!' Please share this wonderful story. 'As the Father has sent me, I am sending you.' John 20:21 'If your eye is good, your whole body will be full of light.' Mt. 6:22 'By God's grace I am what I am.' 1 Corinthians 15:10 'I beheld, and, lo, a great multitude, which no man could number, of all nations, and kindreds, and people, and tongues, stood before the throne, and before the Lamb,. and cried with a loud voice, saying, 'Salvation to our God which sitteth upon the throne, and unto the Lamb.' Revelation 7:9

Nothing much

2008-10-03T08:17:00.003-04:00

Well the last week has been pretty uneventful. We've just been back in our routine. Jason is feeling good--seems to be a little tired but that is expected. Taylor and Easton are still loving school. They seem so old to me--I can't believe how fast they are growing up. I have been getting ready for my mission trip, only a couple more weeks before I leave. Have a great weekend. Blessings, Joslyn

Soup Supper--Friday, Oct. 17th 4:30 - 6:30 @ Messiah Lutheran Church

2008-09-26T08:02:00.004-04:00

Some of our very kind friends are arranging a soup supper benefit for our family. It will be held at Messiah Lutheran Church at the corner of Poseyville Road and Gordonville road on Friday, October 17th prior to the Bullock Creek football game (4:30 - 6:30). I believe there will be soup, salad, and bread of some sort from the Menu Manager.

Thank you so much Staci, Renee, and Kelly & anyone else that may have had a hand in organizing this benefit. You all are so appreciated, and again Jason & I continue to be humbled by this community's generosity. Blessings to all, Jason & Joslyn

2008-09-25T10:35:00.004-04:00

Many of you have asked me whether or not I am going on the week long mission trip to Haiti starting Oct. 18th. After much discussion with Jason, we have decided that I will go to Haiti. This decision didn't come easy. I have been back and forth in my mind about going and not going. I know many of you may be thinking why on earth would she be leaving for a week during this stage of our lives. I cannot explain the peace that I feel about our decision--God has placed this trip heavily on my heart and I cannot ignore that call. The people of Haiti are in so much need--not just physical needs but emotional and spiritual needs. There has been so much destruction over the last few weeks with the hurricanes coming through Haiti that so many Haitians are completely devastated. They need to feel the love of Jesus right now and know that He is with them. The haitians' struggles are so much more than ours--the basic need of clean water and food for their children is overwhelming. It is not possible for me to know their hurt and need as I have not been in that position-not knowing if I will be able to feed my children not just today but tomorrow and the next day and the next. My heart breaks for these people. Here is a blog that I have been following www.haitirescuecenter.wordpress.com for some time now. It will give you some sort of picture of the extreme poverty that these people endure on a daily basis.

Please know that I am prepared to change my plans on a second's notice if we feel that this is not a good time for me to gone. Please continue to pray for our mission team as we prepare ourselves for this trip--pray for safe travels, wisdom, and most importantly, that we may bring Jesus to these cherished people and that they will lean on the Lord at all times. Blessings, Joslyn

God is good all the time & all the time God is good!

2008-09-22T09:47:00.003-04:00

Oh, what a wonderful morning. Jason and I just got out of his doctor's appointment and the news is great. The doc was impressed by his MRI--they always hope for results like Jason's but that is not always the case. The swelling has significantly decreased and the areas of the tumor that were enhanced have decreased as well. (Enhanced areas represent the most aggressive parts of the cancer.) Jason and I got a much better picture in our mind of how big Jason's tumor really is--it is a lot smaller area than what we thought. Most of the white area that shows up on his MRI is swelling and not the actual cancer--which is good. All we can really say is thank you God for your amazing love and your miracles. God has already given Jason a miracle--the way he feels is outstanding with no side effects from the medicines that he is on, the fact that he is still going about his days as he usually does, and he has such a positive attitude & outlook for his life. God, your glory is shown every single day!

Jason gets to start tapering down on the steroids that he has been taking and hopefully he will be able to get off of them completely. The doc also said that he can start driving again--praise God! Blessings to all, Jason & Joslyn

We're off

2008-09-20T07:02:00.003-04:00

Jason and I leave to go to Duke today around 1:30 from MBS airport. His appointments are on Monday morning and Tuesday morning. Please put us in your prayers for safe travels, and more importantly, prayers for Jason's results--that God would just knock our socks off with how the tumor is shrinking!

We'll get back into MBS on Tuesday evening around 8:30.

I will post any news as soon as I can. Blessings to all, Jason & Joslyn

P.S. -- Adam, Happy 30th birthday! Sorry we won't be there tonight for your celebration.

MRI reading by a medically trained eye!

2008-09-15T16:57:00.004-04:00

Jason had an MRI done today and we won't officially know the results of it until we take it to Duke next Monday, Sept. 22nd. However, many of you that are close to me know that I now have a trained medical eye for reading MRIs and from what I can see it looks better than his last MRI scan in July. When I say better, I am only speaking about the amount of white matter that shows up--there seems to be a lot less white matter indicating to me that the swelling has decreased. As you can see by my vague words that I am a highly trained individual in reading MRIs--NOT!

In saying all that, I really do believe that this MRI looks a lot better in regards to his swelling. I am not sure about the tumor itself and we will find that out on Monday. I do know that Jason is feeling extremely well and we have high hopes for this treatment that he is on.

The kiddos are doing great. Taylor continues to love kindergarten. Easton seems to be following his sister's footspeps in preschool and making sure that he answers all of the questions that the teacher asks. He, too, seems to be enjoying school. Blessings, Joslyn

Week 1 went great!

2008-09-05T13:47:00.003-04:00

Well, the first week of school was great. Taylor seems to be enjoying kindergarten and is starting to settle into a routine. Easton had a good first day of preschool and I think that he is really going to enjoy being in school--he's already asking when he will get to go to kindergarten.

Jason's week back to school has been pretty good as well. He seems to be getting into a groove. Although, their classes are a bit large and they are having to change the entire schedule for the "extra classes--Spanish, Keyboarding, etc." so he's been a bit undecided on how to proceed with his current students. Next week he will have all new classes.

Jason also received his second round of treatment this past Tuesday and is feeling excellent. We really couldn't ask for much more in regards to how his body is handling the chemo and Avastin. It really is encouraging to see how well he is doing--yeah!

I am doing good too. I have been adjusting to the new schedule and making sure everyone and everything is all set. I'm having my quiet time with God again and it feels really nice to be sharing with Him again. It's amazing how much better I feel when I start my day off with the Lord--so thank you God!

Easton's 1st Day of Preschool--Sept. 3, 2008

2008-09-03T09:57:00.003-04:00

Easton, what a big boy you are becoming. Mommy and daddy are so excited for you on this big day. We love you! Mommy, Daddy, and Taylor

Easton was very excited this morning for his first day of school. He came running out of his bedroom and asked, "Is it time for me to go to school?" I had to let him know that we had to wait for another hour or so until his school started. Mrs. Leiner will be so blessed by Easton. He is a pure joy to be around and is awefully cute!

Taylor's First Day of Kindergarten--Sept. 2, 2008

2008-09-03T09:31:00.008-04:00

Taylor, we are so proud of you. You are such a delight to be around and we will miss you while you are at school. We love you! Mommy, Daddy, and Easton

What a wonderful day it was. She could hardly wait for the bus to come. She got up at 6:30 asking if it was time for the bus to come--she didn't want to miss her 1st day of school. As she waited for the bus, we took a few pictures. Then the bus pulled up and she didn't even look back at us as she boarded the bus. She walked up the steps and as she did that she threw up her arm to wave good-bye with her back still facing us:) I guess I wouldn't expect anything different--she's always been so independent. I only had a few tears -- tears representing a proud and happy momma!

She let us know that she liked recess the best because the rest of the time she had to work! She ate her first hot lunch which consisted of pizza, corn (which she didn't eat), and grapes. She also chose white milk instead of chocolate or strawberry. All in all it was a great day, and she was ready to go to school again this morning.

HAPPY 30TH BIRTHDAY BABE!

2008-09-02T11:52:00.002-04:00

We are wishing you a wonderful birthday today. You are such a fantastic husband, dad, and friend. Can you believe that we've been together for a third of your life! May the next ten years be just as great as the first ten. We love you! Joslyn, Taylor & Easton.

Labor Day Weekend

2008-08-30T09:16:00.004-04:00

I cannot believe I am sitting here writing that it is Labor Day weekend. The summer just flew by--I honestly feel like it was just Memorial Day weekend. It looks like God is going to give an awesome weekend of weather to finish up the summer--so be sure to enjoy.

An update on Jason--Only 3 more days until he turns 30 years old (Sept. 2nd) and he has been feeling great. He actually told me last week that "this is the most normal I have felt since this all started in January". Wouldn't it just be awesome if the drugs really are taking affect after only one treatment?! His second treatment is coming up on Tuesday, Sept 2nd here in Midland--yeah! He even gets to teach the first day of school because his appointment isn't until 3:00 in the afternoon. Our next trip to Duke is Sept. 22nd & 23rd. He will see the doctors, have his MRI read, get his 3rd treatment, and take the neuropsychological testing. Really looking forward to seeing and hearing the results of his MRI this time around--for some reason I believe that God has something special up His sleeve--this, by the way, is the first time I am not dreading Jason's MRI results--I am hopeful this time.

I'll leave you today with an entry that I read yesterday from my devotion book written by Beth Moore titled "Breaking Free Day by Day":

We have this treasure in clay jars, so that this extraordinary power may be from God and not from us. 2 Corinthians 4:7

Here is my personal checklist of Scriptures and evaluations that I seek to apply to my life on a regular basis:

Is my most important consideration in every undertaking whether or not God could be glorified? (1 Cor. 10:31)
Do I desire God's glory or my own? (John8:50, 54)
In my service to others, is my sincere hope that they will somehow see God in me? (1 Pet. 4:10-11)
When I am going through hardships, do I turn to God and try to cooperate with Him so He can use them for my good and for His glory? (1 Pet. 4:12-13)

Have a blessed weekend and be sure to praise our Lord for such a glorious weekend! Joslyn

"Deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me"

2008-08-26T10:45:00.005-04:00

We just got a new senior pastor at our church, and this past weekend was his first sermon with our congregation. Boy oh boy, did it feel like he was talking right to me--you know the feeling I'm talking about--everything that comes out of the pastor's mouth is something that you are either dealing with, wrestling against, or resisting completely. That was me this past Sunday.

It really was a good sermon for me to hear. I have been struggling, battling, etc-whatever you want to call it--these past few weeks. Heck, if I'm real honest the past few months. I was cruising right along with my relationship with God, feeling pretty good with where I was at in my relationship with God, and then along came this huge mountain, Jason's cancer, that I encountered. Quite honestly, I didn't and still don't know what the heck to do with this news about Jason. I know that I can't dwell on it and think about it all the time or it will drive me insane but I also can't pretend that it's not there. There's this balance that I have yet to find and maybe won't find if I continue to try and do it alone. That last statement is where I find myself today. I have been avoiding God these past few months--I have avoided talking to Him or seeking out His advice through His word on our situation. I have not abandoned God--I'm still praying for God to help out all of my friends and family that are dealing with their own elephants--I'm just ignoring the big huge elephant that is in the room because I don't want to deal with it or come to peace with it. I have been selfish and self-centered in my approach with God. This relationship with God is not just my relationship, it is "our relationship--God & I" I have not given any thought to what is it that God wants from our relationship. What is He trying to share with me? Who am I supposed to be helping? What am I supposed to be doing? When am I supposed to do it? Where am I supposed to do it? And, how am I supposed to do it? I won't ever find the answers to these questions if I am not even willing to ask the questions of God. I have not been obedient in following Jesus' commands in Luke 9:23:
Then he said to them all: "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me."

What does it mean to "deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me"? Our Pastor had some wonderful words to describe what this means and I probably won't due it justice but I will try. In a nutshell, "deny himself" can be substituted with "it's not about me". Start thinking about someone or something other than yourself. "Take up his cross daily" doesn't mean walking around with a gloomy look on his face and thinking that it's all about misery like many of us Christians do. It means to wake up daily ready to see and live life with Christ rather than without. "Follow me" is probably one of the hardest things to do because it goes against our natural, sinful nature. We want things to be easy, self-satisfying, and without any hurdles. To follow Christ is to do it even when it's hard to do. Following God often is not easy, is not self-satisfying, and has many hurdles. The devil will try anything to foul you up, make you second guess God's path for you, or even make you out to look like the bad guy in any given situation.

So how did God speak to me about how He views our relationship--through this sermon. It took someone else asking the questions for me to finally realize that God wants to be a player in our relationship rather than a spectator. HE wants me to stop being so self-absorbed to think that I can handle this all by myself, start waking up in the morning and conversing with HIM first about what it is that I am supposed to be doing with HIM that day, and following what HE has called me to do for that day even when it is hard. May peace be with you all. Joslyn

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TAYLOR!

2008-08-23T07:57:00.003-04:00

Taylor, You are getting to be such a big girl and we can hardly believe that you are 5 years old--it seems like yesterday that we were holding you in our arms and now you're getting ready for your first year in school. We hope that you like your new "big girl room" and that you have a wonderful birthday today. May God bless you and shower His love on you! We love you. Mom, Dad & Easton

Taylor is turning 5

2008-08-20T19:35:00.003-04:00

Our little girl is growing up way too fast:( She'll be turning 5 this Saturday and she is getting ready to start kindergarten. She's already informed me that she wants to ride the bus her first day and not have me take her to school--she's always been Miss Independent!

Jason and I are surprising Taylor on her birthday by making over her bedroom. We are painting her walls purple--her favorite color, getting her new bedding, curtains, and a Hanna Montana lamp. She should really like it and she won't see it until Saturday after her birthday party at the beach. She's looking forward to her big day.

All is well with Jason at this time. He's seeing Dr. Hurtubise on Wednesday next week and we should be able to schedule his next treatment to be done here in Midland on Sept. 2nd--what a wonderful birthday gift for Jason--not! Did you know he's turning 30 that day.

Hoping everyone has a great time these next couple of weeks before school starts up. Blessings, Jason & Joslyn

God is Good

2008-08-16T09:39:00.002-04:00

We got news yesterday from our insurance company that they approved the avastin procedure! God is good and we just want to thank everyone that prayed about this for us. As of right now, we are keeping Jason's appointment for Spet. 2 scheduled at Duke until we know 100% that we can get into his local onocolgist without delaying his treatment schedule. We will still go to Duke Sept. 22nd as well because this is when he will see the doctors, have his MRI read, get the neuropsych testing done, and receive his treatment. We do know that he will not have to be going to Duke every 3 weeks. Although, we don't know how often he will need to go back to see the doctors--we are thinking that the doctors are probably going to want to see him every 6 weeks. Hey, 6 weeks is better than 3 weeks.

Jason continued to feel well over the course of this past week. I am so glad that he is handling the treatment well right now--it's never fun seeing your loved one not feeling so well.

We hope that you enjoy your weekend. We are going to spend some time this weekend at the lake with our kiddos. Jason & Joslyn

2008-08-13T08:11:00.002-04:00

Jason's first treatment went good yesterday. He felt fine the entire ride back to my mom and dad's house--an 11 hour drive. We arrived at there house around midnight and we will head back home today. I cannot wait to hold my babies--it's been over 5 days since we have seen Taylor and Easton and I am missing them. I will be driving once again as the doctors have made a recommendation that Jason not drive for the time being. They feel that with the increased swelling in his brain that it would be best to not drive until he is able to take the neuropsychological testing with the driving component to be sure that all is safe. With Jason's new treatment, the doctors anticipate the swelling to be reduced by his next MRI. We are going to schedule the neuropsych. testing for his Sept. 22nd trip to Duke.

I started getting the plans underway for Jason's next 2 trips back to Duke. His next treatment is scheduled for Sept. 2nd and we already have 2 free tickets for that trip--Praise God. Southwest Airlines donates tickets to Duke and patients are allowed to receive 1 set of tickets a year--one for the patient and one for the caregiver. Most likely, Jason's father will be going on that trip with him so that I can be home with Taylor and Easton for their first days of school. Taylor starts kindergarten and Easton starts preschool.

Jason's next clinic and treatment appointments are at Duke on Sept. 22nd. He will be having another MRI done in Midland prior to that appt. and we will bring it along with us for the doctors to review. The doctors are expecting changes to be seen with that MRI. They have seen good results with combining both the chemo drug and the Avastin drug.

Many of you may be wondering why Jason is going to Duke for his treatments. I explained a little bit in our last entry that the drug Avastin is not a FDA approved drug for brain cancer as of right now and our insurance may not cover the drug expense--a whopping $20,000 per dose! As you can see, that amount of money will add up extremely fast with Jason getting a dose every 3 weeks. We are working closely with our social workers at Duke to get this drug approved by our insurance company. If our insurance doesn't cover the expenses, Duke is large enough to absorb the cost while we are getting approved for a patient participate program where the company that the drug is made at will actually cover the cost for the patient as long as the patient's income does not exceed a certain amount. So Jason and I feel much more comfortable receiving his treatments at Duke knowing this information. If our insurance company does cover the drug then he will continue receiving his treatments in Midland. Please pray that our insurance company would see that this treatment is a necessary treatment for Jason as many of the other options that are approved by the FDA are not an option for Jason. Surgery is out of the question, he's already had the full amount of radiation that he can have, and the standard treatment of the chemotherapy Temodar was not working as the tumor is progressing now. We are praying that the insurance company will see that this is the best thing for Jason's health and that they will cover the drug.

I know that many of you would like to help in some way either through hotel points, airline miles, gas cards, etc. and we are grateful for all of you wonderful people. If this is something that you would like to offer please email me at joslynkrenzke@hotmail.com so that I may create a list of people that we can call upon if we indeed need to go to Duke every 3 weeks.

Thank you so much for all of your love, prayers, and offers to help. We feel very loved and that makes times like these much easier to handle. Jason and Joslyn

New treatment plan

2008-08-12T08:54:00.002-04:00

There's never a good way to start communication when the news isn't good, so I'll just start. We met with the Duke doctors yesterday morning and they are switching up Jason's treatment because the tumor is growing with a significant increase in swelling. We stayed another night in Duke so that Jason could get his first round of treatment here at Duke. His new treatment is underway as I write this entry. He is now taking a intravenous chemotherapy along with a newer drug that is meant to stop the growth of new blood vessels which essentially starves the cancer cells. His treatments will be every 3 weeks and can last up to a year. We are not sure if we will need to fly to Duke every 3 weeks for the treatment to be completed or if we can do his treatments in Midland. It will depend on whether or not our insurance will cover the new medicine that Jason is taking as it is not currently approved for brain cancer--doctors say that it should be approved hopefully in 6 months. The drug is approved for a few different types of cancer already. I will be working on finding out as much information as possible over the next few days and will hopefully know if we will be flying out every 3 weeks. Most likely we will be coming to Duke for the next 2 treatments until all can be figured out.

I want all of you to know that Jason is still feeling very well. The doctors seem to be confident and hopeful with this new treatment. Please continue to pray for us as we determine where the best place is to continue his treatments, pray for Jason to continue to feel well over the coming weeks, pray that the medicines start to take effect immediately and stop the growth of the tumor, pray for shrinkage, and pray that we will find peace with all of the changes that may be coming our way. God has a plan for all of us--take comfort in that.

More pics

2008-08-08T08:21:00.006-04:00

Easter morning, 2008. They look so cute.

Taylor at her ballet recital--I told you it was all about the flowers!

Pudge and Jason--guess he got that picture just in time before Pudge was traded to the Yankees.

Random Pictures

2008-08-07T09:48:00.003-04:00

Easton's birthday. He shared his birthday with his cousins at the bowling alley. As you can see, he got a new car and some baseball items!

Mother like daughter!

Tigers game in June

What is FAITH?

2008-08-06T07:34:00.003-04:00

I am not sure who wrote this so I am unable to give credit to that person. I found this to be a huge blessing right now, and I say thank you to the writer of this.

FAITH is BELIEVING the Word of God and acting on it no matter how I feel, believing that God will bring a good result.

FAITH is not a belief that everything will turn out to please us; rather it is the confidence that no matter how things turn out, God will somehow use the events in our days for His glory and for our good.

FAITH is deliberate confidence in the character of God whose ways you may not understand at the time.

FAITH is being willing to trust God - turning your hopes and problems over to Him and trusting in His wisdom - and knowing that somehow everything will turn out for the best. No matter how difficult or dark things become, there is always a light.

FAITH is a living, daring confidence in God's grace, so sure and certain that a man could stake his life on it a thousand times.

FAITH is a reasoning trust, a trust which reckons thoughtfully and confidently upon the trustworthiness of God.

FAITH is not belief without proof, but trust without reservation.

Sailfish is looking good

2008-08-05T08:47:00.005-04:00

Jason's sailfish finally arrived this past Friday. A person kinda forgets just how big the thing is. When debating whether or not to get the fish mounted, never once did it cross our minds as to where we would put the thing. Well there were only 2 walls that it would fit on in our house, and they were both in our family room. So, Jason's sailfish is on display in our family room where anyone that comes to visit will be sure to see his magnificent catch! I have to admit, it does look pretty cool.

Better Now

2008-08-02T16:33:00.002-04:00

Well the last day and a half have been eventful for us. Jason woke up early Friday morning feeling funny and not being able to sleep well. It continued to get worse for him throughout the day. When I returned home from work, he was feeling extremely exhausted, had headaches off and on, his thoughts were confused and he was a bit disoriented. I called a friend doctor of ours, and he said that I should take Jason to the emergency room. So we went there, and they started to administer a higher dose of his steroid due to some increased swelling in his brain. He started to feel much better about an hour later. He was admitted to the hospital for the night, and when I went to see him this morning, he was back to "normal". So the plan is to stay on the steroid until the swelling is back under control, and we will see what the doctors at Duke have to say on Aug. 11th.

We are now back home and it feels good. It's times like these that I get frustrated as things are completely out of my control, and all of you that know me, know that I like to be in control! Thank you Trina & Loren for watching our kids during the day yesterday and thank you Dennis & Lynda for taking the kids overnight. We appreciate all of your help and prayers. May God bless you! Joslyn & Jason

4th round

2008-07-16T16:53:00.002-04:00

Jason started his 4th round of chemo last night and will finish up this round Saturday night. Jason has been so fortunate during his treatment days--no nausea, sickness, etc. He does begin to get more fatigued by the end of the treatments but if that is all of the side effects, we will praise the Lord.

Jason has been feeling really good lately. He has been busy the last few weeks teaching driver's training. This year, he is teaching the classroom portion rather than taking the student drivers out for their drive sessions. He would much prefer to be in the car--I think.

We are heading up to the UP for a few days on July 26th. My dad's side of the family owns some cabins up in Engadine on a lake, and we all go up there the same week to spend some time together. It's always a nice time. We are looking forward to getting up there again this year.

Jason's next MRI is on July 31st. We will then take that MRI down with us to Duke for his August 11th appointment. We continue to pray for the miracle of the tumor being completely gone but we also continue to pray for peace about any news we may hear. Those couple of weeks will be a bear waiting for the results so please pray for patience for our entire family during those weeks. Continue to have a wonderful summer. Joslyn

It's been a while...

2008-07-10T11:07:00.002-04:00

Well it's been a while since our last post. I guess that means that Jason and I feel like our life is pretty normal right now--didn't think that we would feel like this this soon after finding out about Jason's cancer. It feels good. God has been faithful in answering our prayers. He has given us peace and comfort, and the ability to make plans for the future again. Making plans for the future isn't easy after finding out that someone you love dearly is fighting a pretty tough fight, but God has allowed us to feel the peace it takes in order to start making plans for the future again.

Some of you know about a love that I have for Haiti but many of you do not. So, I thought since things were going well right now, I would share this love for Haiti with you all. I never in a million years thought that I would be saying that I love going to a third world country that has so much poverty it makes you sick to think about all the things that we have here at home but I do. The people in Haiti are just amazing. They have so very little yet they have a nice smile and hello for you when you pass them on the street.

I first went to Haiti last July and then returned that same year in November. I was with a group of people going to Three Angels Children's Relief for a medical clinic. It was truly amazing to see God working is such a physical way. The original thought was to go to Haiti for a week long medical clinic then come home. God had different plans. He made it abundantly clear that He wanted a permanent clinic there that would be staffed. So a group of men that were on that mission trip started the construction of a permanent clinic named Halos Medical Mission (dedicated to Aaron Varner who passed away in Oct. 2006) which is one component of Three Angel's Children's Relief. The other two components are Angel House (an orphanage) and Three Angel's Christian Academy. The clinic was operational on our next medical trip in Nov. Since then, a group of medical providers and lay persons go every 2 months to hold a clinic for the people of Haiti (1 in 10,000 people receive medical care in Haiti). You can visit www.threeangelshaiti.org to find out more about this wonderful organization. You can also stay tuned in for future posts about Haiti and Three Angels.

The reason for that background information is because I have booked my plane ticket for my next trip to Haiti for this October!!! My original goal was to go to Haiti once a year but once we found out Jason was sick, I just thought I wouldn't be able to go. God has been touching my heart the last few weeks about getting back to Haiti and I finally said "okay, You've given me the peace I need in order to make that commitment. I will go." I am just so excited to be going back. I just hope that the people in Haiti feel blessed by our presence there because I know that I feel so blessed by them. Take care. Joslyn

Tigers Game

2008-06-26T11:17:00.003-04:00

I just want to send out a huge thank you to all of you wonderful people that came to the Tiger's game last night. I can't believe that over a 100 people came to the game and that we were able to keep it a secret from Jason for over 2 months. He had absolutely no clue even though there had been a couple of "slips" over the last few weeks. For all of you that were not there, Jason's cousin Lisa arranged with the Tigers for Jason to be able to come out onto the field for batting practice before the game. Over a 100 family and friends joined us--Jason's first surprise was meeting up with over 50 of those people waiting at a chartered bus to take us down to the game--this was arranged by Jason's cousin Debbie and his Aunt Lori. The rest of the group met up at the game. The majority of us wore the Krenzke Krusaders shirt that the Bullock Creek Middle schoolers designed. It was pretty neat looking across the field and seeing a sea of black and gold in the crowd. It also made it really easy to spot people that were in our group. Even though it rained the majority of the night, it was still a very special & memorable night for Jason and I. Thank you again! Joslyn

Nothing Much

2008-06-24T07:58:00.002-04:00

It's been a while since my last post. We have just been living a normal life lately. We've been busy with this and that. Taylor was in her first dance recital this past weekend. She had rehearsal Wed & Thurs, and then her show was Fri & Sat. She was very cute and she was definitely "all about the flowers". She just loved receiving all the flowers from her guests. For all you non-dancing families (I only know this because a "dance" dad prepared me the night before by saying "you may want to go out and get your daughter a rose or something because the parents usually give their daughter a flower at the end of the show") you are supposed to give dancers some flowers at the end of their recital & those dancers definitely know it too.

Jason has been feeling well. He just finished his 3rd round of chemo this past weekend and he seemed to do just fine--he didn't even get that tired this time--a little bit but nothing like the last couple of times.

We praise God that things are going good for us right now. We continue to pray for complete healing for Jason--as Taylor would pray "take away the sickness". Take care, Joslyn

"stable"

2008-06-05T19:30:00.002-04:00

I tell you what--"stable" is my new favorite word right now. We got a call from our nurse at Duke about 5:15 today and she said that the doctors reviewed Jason's MRI and told her to tell us that the tumor is stable. Whaoh praise God! As many of you can imagine, my mind has been just a racing these past couple of weeks waiting for Jason to get his next MRI done. Had all kinds of things running through my mind during the day and then a ton of dreams at night. I thought I might lose my mind with asking all the what if questions. I'm so glad that time period is done now. He went in Tuesday morning to have the MRI and I couldn't get the results fast enough but I told myself that I would wait until Friday before I starting calling the docs. Well I didn't even have to do that.

I am praising God for "stable".

Also, an update on Jason's eye sight. He went to the eye doctor again today and his doctor is very pleased with Jason's progress. His sight is much improved from just over a month's worth of time. The doc told him that this might be as good as the eyes get and if it is--he is happy.

What a great day! Joslyn

A disappointing end, however, a FANTASTIC SEASON

2008-06-01T09:44:00.005-04:00

It was the top of the 6th inning when I pulled in for the game (I was working--had rearranged my schedule so I would be sure to make the final game of the day). The score was: visitors 2 and home 5--I thought "good--we are up and I will get to see the end of the game." However, as I walked up to the game there was an eery silence coming from the fans on the Bullock Creek side. I then asked one of the moms "Hey, I just got here, who's home and who's away?" With a frown she answered, "We're the visitors." Well you all know what I was thinking at first, Oh - - - - ! But then I went to the fence and started cheering for the boys just like I have done all season long and really had no doubt in my mind that the boys would pull it off. Well, this time they didn't and that was the end to a Fantastic Season. My heart sank for the boys, the parents, the other fans, and the coaches, especially my husband. I stood along the fence too shocked to really move, not wanting to talk to anyone and just wanting to go and hug Jason. The longer I stood there, the sadder I became and I could no longer hold back the tears. They began to trickle down my face as I thought back over the last few months. I was completely invested into this season--it was fun, something to look forward to, a chance to not think about things, a chance for things to be "normal". It wasn't supposed to end this soon. So the tears continued for sometime (if you know me at all, once I start crying it is just impossible for me to stop no matter how hard I try). I didn't really want people to see me crying--I didn't want them to see me being vulnerable. But in the end, people did see me crying and I just figured they understood. It wasn't about the loss of the game (don't get me wrong--it really, really stunk that the boys lost and we all know that they should still be in the tournament). It was about what this season has done for me, for Jason, for my family and I say thank you! God bless all of you. Joslyn

Saturday game

2008-05-28T08:25:00.002-04:00

The boys won their game last night 8-2 and move on to District play this Saturday.

The boys play this Saturday at Bullock Creek at 10:00 against Bay City John Glenn. The winner will play again around 3:00 or 4:00 for District finals against the winner of the Saginaw & Caro game.

Just as an FYI, regionals will be played at Goodrich on Sat, June 7th. Quarterfinals will take place at Flushing on Tues, June 10th. State semi-finals and finals are Friday & Saturday, June 13th & 14th at Battle Creek.

Have a great week. Joslyn

2008-05-27T10:26:00.003-04:00

Can you believe this weather--I think the baseball team is just destined to play in low 60 degree weather. The baseball team plays this evening at 5:00 at Bullock Creek against Bridgeport--be sure to bring your winter gloves and a blanket, it gets really cold just watching the game.

Jason's second round of chemo went fine. He seemed to tolerate it very well. The only thing is that he did get fatigued and felt pretty drained the last couple of days. If that is all that happens, we will sing praises to God because He definitely has His healing hands all over Jason. Thank you for all of your prayers. We continue to be in awe of all you wonderful people. Take care, Joslyn

Tri Valley Conference Champs!!!!

2008-05-20T22:02:00.006-04:00

Hey everyone,
The Creekers pulled out 2 wins against Shepherd earning them the top spot in the conference:) The first game was a nailbiter (the score doesn't really represent how close the game was) I was even jumping out of my seat--it's been a long time since I was that excited about a game (probably back in high school watching my brother's basketball team). Creek was behind 4-2 up until the 6th inning when we scored 2 runs to tie it up. In the 7th inning, the Creek took it to em and scored another 9 runs for a total of 13-4. You can read the write up at http://ourmidland.com/articles/2008/05/21/sports/1108540.txt or read the Midland Daily News on Wednesday.

The second game ended in the 6th inning after the Creek mercied Shepherd 12-2. I just have to say these boys are so much fun to watch and I am looking forward to tournament time. Jason couldn't have a better group to coach than these guys and it's just awesome to see what a fantastic year they are having. This baseball season has been such a blessing in more ways than one. They are now 27-1-1 and will play next Tuesday, May 27th against Bridgeport in pre-districts. The winner will advance to Districts on Saturday, May 31.

Jason gets to celebrate tonight by starting his 2nd round of chemo (Although, I think he'd rather be drinking a beer with some of the dads :) so please keep him in your prayers over the next five days.

Have a great week. Joslyn

Rainout

2008-05-15T08:01:00.003-04:00

For all of you wondering, you'll have to wait until next Tuesday to find out if the Creek baseball was successful in defeating Shepherd--rainout last night.

B.C. Baseball is doing fantastic

2008-05-14T07:27:00.003-04:00

Hello everyone,
Just wanted to give everyone a quick update. Jason is feeling good and has been busy with baseball. They currently are 23-1-1. They will be playing Shepherd tonight--this should be a great game as Shepherd and Bullock Creek are fighting for the number 1 spot in their conference.

Taylor just finished preschool for the year--she is going to be in kindergarden next year. Easton is officially potty trained--yeah! My babies are growing up so fast.

As a side note, I am feeling much better this week. I have been able to concentrate on other things and have a much more positive attitude about things. I definitely like myself a lot more when I am on the happy side and I know others feel the same way:)

Take care and God bless your week. Joslyn